also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
