i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
