Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize