I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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