Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
