Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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