Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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