That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
