Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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