ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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