You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
