fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
