THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize