remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
