On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have aggressive nipples.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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