In America we eat man semen.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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