dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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