she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize