Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
