ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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