hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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