I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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