Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
