Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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