Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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