people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Randomize
