How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
