I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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