I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
