I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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