So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's always time for handjobs
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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