This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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