Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
