I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize