did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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