capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you traded sex for a burrito?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
