I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize