I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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