I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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