was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I party with great urgency now.
Pooping to opera.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
