just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am naked and annoyed.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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