He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
