I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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