Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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