either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
