Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
