LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
