But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
