My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
