i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
