I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
