It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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