I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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