'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
