DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
