I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
