i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
