dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
